🚴 The free event that makes millions

In a single week of 2004, Quiznos received 30k complaints. They had nothing to do with the chain’s subs, but a bizarre ad campaign featuring two rodents — known as Spongmonkeys — belting an off-key song.

If you somehow missed it, here ya go. If it still haunts you, guess what? They’re back, baby.

Jimmy Lambatos…

… founded Quiznos in Denver in 1981, touting the fact that, unlike other sandwich shops, it toasted its subs. Lambatos sold Quiznos to father-and-son franchisees Richard and Rick Schaden in 1991, who took the company public in 1994.

Quiznos grew rapidly, at one point becoming the second-largest sub chain in North America behind Subway, with 5k+ locations by 2007.

But it wouldn’t last

Several misfortunes and bad decisions occurred:

• Competitor Subway started toasting its subs
• The Great Recession led to numerous store closures
• Quiznos settled with several franchisees who sued over being forced to purchase food and paper goods from a subsidiary at above-market prices

Quiznos filed for bankruptcy in 2014, and fewer than 200 remain today.

In 2018…

… private equity firm High Bluff Capital bought Quiznos and placed it under the care of its restaurant platform, REGO Restaurant Group.

REGO is mounting a comeback with a new look, menu items, and drive-thrus.

Which is why the Spongmonkeys are back

In the early-aughts, Quiznos wanted to make a splashy ad with a small budget.

According to Mel Magazine, Ty Harper of ad agency The Martin Agency recalled a video by animator Joel Veitch that featured the “spongmonkeys” singing about the moon. Harper pitched it for subs.

• Quiznos put out a lot of weird ads — a man suckling a wolf, a suggestive toaster — but none was so polarizing and enduring as 2004’s Spongmonkeys.

So, naturally, Quiznos hired Veitch to make a brand-new commercial for its attempted comeback.

This one features the Spongmonkeys on a road trip to find the nation’s remaining Quiznos as the company attempts to court new franchisees, and rebuild its empire one toasted cheesesteak and fever-dream folk song at a time.

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2) If you like horses, you’ll love the “horse mecca” of Phoenix, Arizona. But if you are a horse, you’re probably pissed at Phoenix for its never-ending string of ultra-sweaty days. Horses heat up much faster than humans, and Phoenix’s 110+-degree temps are posing a very dangerous threat to the area’s $1.3B equestrian industry.

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4) If you’ve got the time (and luck), meteorite hunting can be quite the lucrative side gig. A gram of space rock can go for anywhere from $0.05 to $5k depending on its features, and the Maine Mineral and Gem Museum recently offered $25k to anyone who could recover a fresh meteorite that landed nearby. They don’t teach you about this career path in school, kids, but meteorite hunting may pay off.