July 13, 2020

Hustle Hot Takes #2: Elon Musk’s ‘short shorts’ are the perfect meme

Elon Musk announced a limited release of Tesla “short shorts,” a culmination of his greatest memes.

Here’s a quick hack to look baller: download the Tesla app and place it prominently on your phone’s home screen. 

I know this works because I borrowed my brother’s Tesla (👋 Nam) once and had to download the app.

I never deleted it and, when I saw a buddy recently, he noted the Tesla app on my phone and asked, “whoa, I didn’t know you owned a Tesla.”


For maximum effect, don’t have any other apps on that one screen

I let his question hang for 9 second — 9 glorious seconds when my friend thought I was way richer than I really am — then told him: “I actually don’t. It’s my brother’s.” 

So, yeah. Nine seconds of glory in exchange for a lifetime of knowing I’m a fraud.

Totally worth it. 

***

I bring this up because Tesla ($TSLA) just had an incredible week, up nearly 30% over the past 5 trading days.

Elon is now worth $70B+ and is richer than Warren Buffett.

These gains come after Elon — the world’s greatest meme lord — announced the release of limited edition “short shorts” last Sunday (appropriately priced at $69.420). 

His antics really do seem to work. Based on rigorous quantitative research, I found that $TSLA is up one trading day after each of Elon’s absurd merchandise drops (*correlation is not blah blah blah*):

The short shorts are a culmination of many of Musk’s greatest hits:

  • Hilarious merch drops (e.g., flamethrower, Boring Hat)
  • Trolling short sellers
  • Tesla car models spelling “sexy” (S3XY)
  • The number 420
  • The number 69

Frankly, it’s the perfect meme and I explain why in this Youtube video I did for The Hustle. In honor of Musk’s meme-ing genius, the video is exactly 489 seconds long (420 + 69 = 489)

If you’re thinking, “wow, that must have taken an unreasonable amount of time to hit this completely arbitrary time mark” then you are correct.

Anyways, enjoy! 

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