Streaming services have completely given up on creative names

Welcome to the scourge of the streaming “+.”

September 18, 2020

If you have experience coming up with clever brand names, the major media conglomerates of the world need you.

CBS All Access is rebranding as… *drumroll*… Paramount+.

Its reason for switching to the Paramount moniker makes sense: Paramount is more recognizable than CBS overseas.

But that “+” sign isn’t exactly the most creative branding. In fact, it’s pure mimicry: Disney+, Apple TV+, ESPN+, BET+… (OK, we admit it — we’ve thought about a Hustle+…)

We’re just circling back to basic addition

HBO Max just barely gets a pass here, but we’ll continue to side-eye them.

Streaming represents the future of these businesses, so one would think that their names would be a bit spicier.

But they’re all basically the same

  • Quartz identified a few categories, including the pervasive “Now” (Sundance Now, Epix Now, HBO Now).
  • Tubi and Quibi sound like they could also be toothbrush startups.
  • Mubi, Vudu, and Fubo TV are trying to take over the “Hulu, but different” linguistic lane.

We’re looking forward to the chaos agent that enters the streaming wars with a minus sign in its name.

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