Marie Kondo messes with our heads by announcing new line of closet clutter — errr, lifestyle products

Marie Kondo pulls a bait-and-switch by offering a new lifestyle product line after persuading us to purge our material possessions.

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Marie Kondo messes with our heads by announcing new line of closet clutter — errr, lifestyle products

Marie Kondo, contemplative author of the bestseller, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” –– and star of the hit Netflix spinoff –– originally won over America’s hearts and junk drawers with her KonMari practice of tossing all items that don’t spark joy in their owners… quietly lowers self into trash can and pulls lid closed.

Kondo’s hardcore purification methods, overlaid with her soothing persona, sparked a nationwide cleansing movement this year. Befuddled donation center employees looked on as millions of Kondo-heads filed in and serenely whispered “Thank you” to their piles of old junk before returning home to sit on the bare floors of their now-naked apartments. 

Oh I’m sorry, did I clutter? I said you need MORE stuff

After making tough clean-out decisions at the purge-urging of our tidy cult leader, many fans are now peeved at news of Kondo’s contradictory boutique pushing a new line of lifestyle products, such as a beechwood computer brush with anti-static goat hair. 

… OK, I know I just threw out my grandmother’s wedding veil, but if I don’t order that bamboo tea whisk this second I will lose my s***.

According to The Wall Street Journal, Kondo maintains that the spinoff biz is in keeping with the KonMari philosophy, since each product has passed her personal “spark check.” 

The online boutique opens just months after consumerism king Rakuten announced a partnership with Kondo

Gotta respect the hustle of a badass biz success story, but it still feels a little… dirty. It’s kind of like gyms offering free pizza under the pretense of making fitness fun: Maybe intentions truly are pure, but ultimately the business is perpetuating demand for its own product.

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