EMAILED ON May 18, 2018 BY Wes Schlagenhauf

Who knew? Apple is reportedly set to station its HQ2 in North Carolina

In January, Apple announced its plan to establish a second headquarters that would employ up to 10k additional people wherever it landed.

Now, according to local news station WRAL, Apple has set its sights on Raleigh, North Carolina.

That’s it? No contest? No red carpet?

Yep. Unlike Amazon, who has turned the search for their new HQ2 into a highly publicized sweepstakes that would rival most reality game shows, Apple has decided to take a more graceful approach.

Because as a wise, turtle-necked founder once said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

Or you could take it from the Jobs successor himself, CEO Tim Cook — who recently told Recode when asked about their search, “We’re not doing a beauty-contest kind of thing.”

That’s right, Bezos, stick that in the soil next to the Saguaro cactus that Arizona gave you and grow it (yes, we know they returned it, but still).

To be clear, nothing’s set in stone yet

The deal still needs legislative approval — which really means Apple just wants a bill to give them a sweet tax incentive package (there really are no good corporations left, are there?).

What exactly the new headquarters will be used for has yet to be announced — although Apple has alluded to a hub for customer-support reps.

OK, we take it back, highly publicized corporate sh*t shows are way more interesting.