Apple held their 2017 iPhone Event at their huge new donut campus yesterday, and we all wore our finest turtlenecks and white sneaks to work and gathered around the TV like it was the damn Super Bowl.
OK, we’re not that deep in the game… But, Apple’s 10th annual iPhone launch was one of the most highly-anticipated events in tech — so here’s a quick rundown of the heavy-hitters:
Apple Watch 3 — with cell service
As Apple puts it, so you can “answer a call from your surfboard.” Because staying plugged in is what surfing’s all about, right??
Now you can make calls and send texts 007-style without having your phone on you — and when you’re stressed from taking work with you everywhere, you can use the watch’s Breathe app to calm down.
New body, same annoying headphone jack. The 8 features a glass frame, which allows (drumroll please) WIRELESS CHARGING.
Well, kind of. You still have to plug in the charging mat. But now you can charge your phone and listen to music at the same time, like iPhones 1 through 6.
Also included are a faster “A11 Bionic” processor, wide-angle and telephoto camera lenses, and photo editing effects so advanced, if police used your profile pic for a missing person poster, no one would ever find you.
iPhone X (Pronounced like the roman numeral “10”)
The much-reported “$1,000 iPhone” is all screen, baby: on top of all the 8’s features, they’ve done away with the home button which, according to Apple, makes for a phone, “so immersive the device itself disappears into the experience.”
One that “fills the hand and dazzles the eyes” with a Super Retina OLED display that is more scratch/water/dust resistant than previous models.