And the winner is… you!!!

Our email inboxes have become the final frontier of the infowars.

In recent years, an influx of new-fangled marketing mediums have competed for our attention — and the humble email inbox has become an unexpectedly fruitful locale for greater engagement.

Unleash the content floodgates

Many of the emails we receive are well-meaning. But let’s be honest: the majority of them are glorified spam.

Gone are the days of cheap viagra pills and Nigerian prince windfalls. Today’s spam comes in the form of a personalized cold sales email that is blasted out to 1,000s of unsuspecting innocents at once.

Well, folks, there’s only one solution: we’ve got to punch back.

Spamming the spammer

Introducing You’ve Got Spam: a new tool from MSCHF that lets you spam back the spammers.

With a single click, you can subscribe the sender’s email address to hundreds of junky subscriptions, choking their inbox to the gills.

Try You’ve Got Spam

With great power comes great responsibility. Use it sparingly!

One of the big issues on everyone’s mind is how we can get money into the hands of those who need it most.

With stimulus talks on the backburner, millions of Americans are in need of some form of immediate financial relief.

We’ve got just the palliative: UBI (AKA universal basic income) in the form of Spotify plays.

The set-up

If you’re trying to make money with Spotify streams, there are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Spotify pays the same for a stream of a 1-minute song as for a 10-minute song.
2. The shortest duration Spotify will pay for is 30 seconds. This is the most efficient money maker.
3. A 30-second song can only be uploaded as part of an album; the album’s songs must average >1-minute in length.
4. Spotify pays between $0.0035 and $0.005 per stream.

Here’s our gift to you

With one click, our MPFree Money Widget will algo-generate a playlist of music ready to be uploaded to Spotify.

Everything you need is here!

Here’s what you need:

✅  A “song”

✅  Album Art

✅  Uploading Service

✅  A Spotify Account

Here’s what you don’t need:

❌  To be a musician

❌  To be signed to a label

❌  To have an agent

Vatican City is a self-contained city-state within Rome, and is internationally recognized as a sovereign state that can issue its own passports.

Crucially, the Vatican can issue passports at will to any person.

A VC Passport holder can, for instance, enter any of the following countries without a visa: 🇦🇹. 🇧🇪, 🇧🇬. 🇭🇷, 🇨🇿, 🇩🇰, 🇪🇪, 🇫🇮, 🇫🇷, 🇩🇪, 🇬🇷, 🇭🇺, 🇮🇪, 🇮🇹, 🇱🇻, 🇱🇹, 🇱🇺, 🇲🇹, 🇳🇱, 🇵🇱, 🇵🇹, 🇷🇴, 🇸🇰, 🇪🇸, 🇸🇪, 🇮🇸, 🇳🇴, 🇨🇭, 🇨🇦, 🇦🇪!

As migration crises ensue across the world, we have devised a simple solution:

Sadly the Pope does *not* have an email (he received too much spam). However, he does have a mailing address.

To secure your spot on heaven’s waitlist, PRINT OUT THIS EMAIL and mail it to his official address:

His Holiness, Pope Francis
Apostolic Palace
00120 Vatican City

Well comrades, you’ve made it this far, so we salute you. MSCHF unleashes fresh new chaos on the internet every two weeks — and you can find out about it early on our app.

From all of us at MSCHF, remember the three golden rules:

1. Golf sucks now and has always sucked.
2. “I am an anti-vaxxer.” — Steve Jobs
3. Always punch something; never punch down.

Catch ya next time!

***

Here’s how to set strategies to beat your top-of-funnel targets  

Does your team need help hitting their sales goals lately? No surprises there — 2020 has been a toughie.

RingCentral partnered with Outreach to pull together this 60-minute masterclass on how you can set your team up for success.

Join to learn:

• Where in the sales cycle you need to get more aggressive
• The surprising bright spots in your funnels
• How to make these improvements repeatable everywhere

Reserve your spot today for the Dec 1st webinar.