Are you afraid of the dark?

An after-dark earnings roundup: 3 stocks that had a crazier night than you did yesterday

Yesterday was a big earnings day for tech companies -- and a wild night for their stocks. Here’s a roundup of 3 stocks that turned upside down after-hours yesterday:

Tesla reports historic losses, sending stock way up

Yep, you read that right. The electric car company announced losses of $717.5m in Q2, the largest in the company’s volatile history. But Tesla lost money efficiently -- reducing expenditures from $3.4B to an estimated $2.5B this year and finishing the quarter with $2.2B in cash.

Now that the company has hit its target of producing 5k Model 3s a week, analysts are betting the company will be profitable this year -- sending stock up more than 11% after-hours.

Square had a great year, sending its stock downhill

Square announced that sales last quarter increased 60%, beating analysts’ projections. By diversifying its offerings, the company managed to nearly double in size over the past year.

But, investors seemed to think the good news at Square was too good to be true. After raising its own bar, Square slightly lowered its forecast for next quarter -- enough to send the company’s stock down as much as 2.5% after-hours, despite its strong performance.

Despite losses, Fitbit gets it

Fitbit announced a $118.3m quarterly net loss yesterday, revealing overall revenue had fallen to $299.3m from $353.3m at this time last year.

Yet, in spite of the rough financials, Fitbit announced that the selling price of its wearables increased 6% on the year -- a vote of confidence for smartwatches. Fitbit’s faith-driven smartwatch forecast was enough to send the ’Bit’s stock up 6.4% after hours.

Google may bow to Chinese censorship if it means getting access to their market

Citing leaked documents, The Intercept reports that Google plans to build a censored search engine for the Chinese market.

The project, code-named “Dragonfly,” has reportedly been in the oven since the spring of 2017, and accelerated in December after a meeting between Google CEO Sundar Pichai and a “top Chinese official.”

Why is this important?

Google pulled its search engine out of China nearly a decade ago because of the country’s strict censorship laws. Now, everyone and their mothers are looking for a piece of their massive market -- reopening Google to the idea of doing China’s dirty work.

The Chinese government has reportedly seen Google’s Android prototype that will “blacklist websites and search terms regarding human rights, democracy, religion, and peaceful protest.”

But does this necessarily mean China will return Google’s keys to the castle?

Or is Google too falling victim to one of China’s power plays?

Reports say that Google’s search engine could be finalized in 6 to 9 months, pending approvals, but as Axios notes, companies have wasted time and cash before trying to break through China’s steel curtain.

Just ask Zuckerberg -- Last week we thought Facebook finally made it past the moat... until China pulled up the drawbridge last-minute yet again.

The weed-infused beverage war is quietly brewing as Molson Coors enters joint venture

Molson Coors is the latest big brewer to officially enter Canada’s budding legal ganja industry.

MC has partnered with Canadian-based MJ producer The Hydropothecary Corporation to make booze-free, cannabis-infused beverages as soon as recreational weed is legalized in Canada this October.

The new venture will run as a stand-alone startup operated by both companies, giving Molson Coors a 57.5% interest and 3 seats on the board of directors.

Molson Coors is in its experimentation phase

The No. 2 US brewer is looking for new growth avenues as they continue to struggle with another weak quarter of sales for light lagers (or, as our sales guy Matt lovingly calls them, “canoe water”).

According to The Wall Street Journal, Molson Coors’ global volume dropped 2.4% in Q2 (4.8% in the US) with a 3.1% decrease in revenue.

Meanwhile, Canadian weed is set to become a $7.5B industry...

And companies are hopping on board before it further cashes alcohol sales.

Corona brewer, Constellation Brands, took first greens in October, paying $191m for a 9.9% stake to develop weed-infused bevs with Canadian-based Canopy Growth.

Spiros Malandrakis, head of alcoholic drinks at Euromonitor, sums up the alcohol industry’s sudden interest in trees, predicting, “A transition towards a holistic, responsible intoxication model will be the end game.”

Naked Labs raises $14m to whip your bare, silver butt into shape with its smart mirror

3D body-scanning startup Naked Labs raised a $14m Series A headlined by Founders Fund.

Naked has also begun shipping its first product, a $1,395 smart mirror that uses biometric scanning technology to make a silver avatar that tells you how long it will take to lose weight.

“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fittest of them all?”

Using a rotating scale, the Naked 3D Fitness Tracker’s scanning mirror captures 4m infrared data points. Then, its app provides visualizations of your current and goal body, allowing users to set weight loss, ‘recomposition,’ and performance targets.

After completing the 15-second scan, Naked tells you your body fat, muscle mass, and measurements -- and then offers remote training plans, nutrition advice, and personalized coaching.

Your avatar is focused on fitness for now…

But wouldn’t it look good in a pair of [insert trendy e-commerce brand here] jeans?

Naked is starting by tapping into the lucrative personal fitness market -- but they’re also already talking with e-commerce partners who are excited to use your Naked scans to get you in their pants.

Meanwhile, Amazon already acquired a 3D body scanning startup called Body Labs in 2017 and has been testing “commercial applications” such as custom-fit clothes.

Naturally, many consumers are concerned about their 3D, digitized nudes ending up in Jeff Bezos’ hands. Representative from Naked have dismissed concerns, claiming that users’ nudes Naked data is secure.

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