Brexit Explained Like You’re a Kid

The Hustle Monday, June 27, 2016 Now that the dust has settled… Last Thursday, Britain voted to leave the EU, and sh*t immediately hit the fan. England’s prime minister quit, global stock markets plummeted, and some “leave” voters immediately regretted their decision. “I didn’t think my vote was going to matter because I thought we […]


June 27, 2016

The Hustle
Monday, June 27, 2016

Now that the dust has settled…

Last Thursday, Britain voted to leave the EU, and sh*t immediately hit the fan. England’s prime minister quit, global stock markets plummeted, and some “leave” voters immediately regretted their decision.

“I didn’t think my vote was going to matter because I thought we were just going to remain,” said one voter. Seriously, dude?

Anyway, we decided not to cover it on Friday and, rather, let the situation marinate to get a better picture of what’s actually going on. The gist is pretty straightforward (Britain left the EU) but it seemed like everyone was using a Jump to Conclusions mat to figure out what it meant.

Here’s a breakdown of the situation, complete with explanation as if you were eight years old and just got home from soccer, no wait, football practice. Listen up, mate.

(Inspired by this comment on Wait But Why)

The formation of the EU

So, let’s pretend Europe is a giant playground and all the countries are different kids’ gangs. The leader of each gang decides the rules, like who’s allowed in and what members are required to do.

But there’s a problem: the gangs are all fighting a lot, and nobody’s having fun. So, one day they all get together and form a super-gang called the EU.

They still have their individual traditions (one gang’s thing was football, another one’s was pizza), their own hideouts, and secret passwords…but they promise not to fight anymore.

Plus, people from different gangs are allowed to join in with other gangs’ activities if they want to, they just have to learn the passwords.

This is great for a while and everyone is having a lot more fun.

The infamous “Brexit”

Things change, little friend. And the UK gang decides it isn’t happy with the rules the super-gang made. It feels like some of the rules are unfair…like the one that says their clubhouse door must remain open (a lot of people are against immigration).

So, they decide they wanted to leave and make their own rules.

However, some members are hesitant. “If we leave the EU, we can’t join in with the other gangs’ games! They probably won’t want to swap Pokémon cards with us anymore, either.”

So they decide it’s only fair if they take a vote…and somewhat surprisingly, on Thursday they voted to leave the EU.

The kids who voted to “leave” are happy because now that it’s their gang, they’ll have more control.

The kids who voted to “remain” are sad because they liked playing with other gangs and didn’t mind when other gangs came and played with them.

Why/how this happened

The EU’s rule about keeping all clubhouse doors open had a lot to do with it. With so many “outsiders” coming in, some UK members, especially the older ones, felt like their clubhouse wasn’t really theirs, anymore.

Kids also voted to “leave” because they hated that the UK was required to give the EU so many Duncan yo-yos every week as payment for being part of the super gang (though this was exaggerated a bit).

And by the way, the leader of the gang (named London) voted to remain. But that’s because he had his own room inside the clubhouse and wasn’t as affected as the other members. He was out of touch.

What happens next?

Well, this has never happened before, so we don’t really know. But it’ll probably take at least two years for it to be finalized.

If/when it is, lives will definitely change…and it’ll be much harder for London to hang out with his friends Barcelona and Paris.

There’s also the case of at least two UK gang members, named Scotland and Northern Ireland, who want to stay in the EU and might have to go their own way. It’s a mess, son.

Long story short, it’s a complicated issue full of hysteria, exaggeration, and grandstanding. Voters ignored the experts, became blinded with patriotism, and reacted to short-sighted promises of change. Sound familiar?

Ok, finish your homework and get to bed.

Luxury cars and drone ships

Rolls-Royce revealed they’ve been designing and testing a fleet of crewless “drone boats” that could revolutionize the shipping industry. How the company famous for making totally-out-of-reach cars is able and/or qualified to make massive ships beat me. But they’re not sparing any expense.

Windows in the bridge will double as augmented reality screens that show the vessel’s surroundings, as collected by an array of sensors. This means the entire thing can be manned with only one or two crew members.

Why cargo shipping?

Marine logistics seems pretty far from their luxury car business, but the company sees a massive opportunity. Currently, the shipping industry is a $375B market that carries more than 90% of world trade. Seems like a heck of an opportunity but, man, that’s a strange pivot. Like if Rolex started making self-inflating tires.

Drone ships could seriously decrease costs, both financially and environmentally, so Rolls-Royce is betting big on the technology. And if you can’t picture what it looks like, think of the Enterprise from Star Trek, minus all the aliens, plus the potential for pirates. Or just look at the renderings.

C’mon, man!

At a recent Tony Robbins Motivational Seminar in Dallas, 40 people were hurt and five people were hospitalized after walking across hot coals.

Robbins’ website advertised the seminar as an “unleash the power within” event. “Storm across a bed of hot coals,” it said. “Once you start doing what you thought was impossible, you’ll conquer the other fires of your life with ease.”

Or not…

Ryan Holiday drops some knowledge: an interview with The Hustle

We first heard about Ryan Holiday through his book Trust Me, I’m Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator. In it, Ryan shares a story about the time Tucker Max – who’s written articles for us in the past – asked him to create some controversy around his upcoming movie, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.

Long story short, Ryan defaced some billboards advertising the movie in L.A. (billboards he had designed and paid for), took photos as if he were a random passerby named Evan Meyer, and sent them into popular media outlets with the note “Good to know Los Angeles hates Tucker Max too.” In under two weeks, students across the country were seemingly inspired by the (fake) billboard statement and began protesting the film. Certain cities banned the film’s advertisements.

In addition to being a master media manipulator, Ryan also worked as American Apparel’s Director of Marketing, founded the creative advisory firm Brass Check, and authored multiple books, including the popular Growth Hacker Marketing.

Needless to say, we’re huge fans of the guy and think he’s a total legend. So, I asked him some questions and he kindly took the time to answer. None of his responses are edited. Enjoy.

Learn from the best →
Kendall “king of the playground” Baker (writer), John Havel (editor), Lawson D. Woods (scout leader)

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