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January 11, 2019

A notorious cybercrime collective known as the Dark Overlord posted an online job listing for software designers and systems engineers.
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Looking for a job? The Dark Overlord is hiring ‘goal oriented’ cybercriminals for $63k/month!

The Dark Overlord, a cybercrime collective known for blackmailing big TV studios and insurance companies, is hiring. Specifically, it’s hiring software designers and systems engineers with at least “10 years of experience” to “bring innovative approaches to operations and think outside the box.”

According to a shockingly corporate job posting discovered by the cyber-threat intelligence company Digital Shadows, The Dark Overlord is looking to fill the last of 4 vacant positions with a candidate that has “a winning attitude.”

OK… but does The Dark Overlord provide dental benefits?

The hacking collective wasn’t explicit about health or PTO policy. But the company did guarantee its new hire would be “collaborating with like-minded and ambitious individuals” in “operations against various companies and governments and worldwide deployments.”

The Dark Overlord first made headlines when it successfully blackmailed Netflix after stealing unaired episodes of ‘Orange Is the New Black.’

But after releasing ‘9/11 files’ to extort money from insurance companies, global authorities cracked down and allegedly arrested a member of The Dark Overlord in Serbia, leaving the Overlord short-staffed. 

Hacker collectives have HR problems, too

With its back against the wall, The Dark Overlord retaliated against authorities the same way any self-respecting international crime syndicate would: It posted open positions on internet job boards.

To increase its headcount and subvert global regulators, The Dark Overlord posted 4 open roles on KickAss Forum (a cybercrime job marketplace that charges a finder’s fee) in November with the tagline “Life’s too short not to be rich.”  

Cybercrime pays

The Overlord offers an annual salary of $762k (payable after a 90-day probationary period, naturally) with an expected increase to $1.068m after 2 years (contingent upon positive performance reviews, of course).

As The Dark Overlord and other large cybercrime associations like The Shadow Brokers become more common (and more successful), their recruiting practices will continue to resemble those of the tech companies they recruit from. 

Even hackers have TPS reports
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What a time to be a techie: CES shows us just how weird consumer spending could get

The 6-day tech-xtravaganza that is the 51st Consumer Electronics Show comes to a close today. And, as in years past, we can come to only one conclusion: The future’s gettin’ nutty.

Here are a few of 2019’s wackiest CES gadgets. 

FoodMarble breathalyzer for your digestive system

The AIRE by FoodMarble is an app-connected gadget that is able to analyze the amount of fart in your bloodstream the same way a breathalyzer reads your blood alcohol level.

Essentially, the AIRE measures the gas in your bloodstream to suss out specific foods that don’t jive with your gut, so you can figure out what your body actually wants to eat.

Kohler’s new talking toilet

What could possibly be moreimmersive” than the almighty porcelain throne? Kohler’s new Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet, that’s what.

With built-in speakers, Kohler’s toasty toilet seat design, new “lighting and audio enhancements,” and the voice of Alexa always by your side, private time just got a lot more laughable.

Hyundai’s 4-legged vehicle

Hyundai’s Elevate vehicle is a four-legged, walking automotive concept designed for first responders who navigate terrain like forests, mountains, rock formations, and anywhere else you might catch the Empire patrolling for Ewoks. 

Speaking of, according to the Verge, Hyundai thinks its “Ultimate Mobility Vehicle” would be great for an “interplanetary mission.”

   @ Me Anything
Wes Schlagenhauf, News Writer at The Hustle
@wesschlagenhauf

The traditional wheel is so 3500 B.C. and Transformers are too much of a liability to fit inside a building, so what do we get instead? A cross between a Darpa-bot and the Inspector Gadget-mobile.
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» CES is IRL Skymall

These shrimps ain’t loyal: A selfish shellfish startup left Minnesotans high and dry

Tru Shrimp, an aquaponics startup that raises shrimp indoors, changed plans to open a $330m shrimp harbor in Luverne, Minnesota, after 18 months of preparation.

Instead, the shrimp startup relocated its facility to South Dakota, where the environmental permitting process doesn’t take as long.

Put away the shrimp cocktail, this party’s over

To help build the stacked ponds that would have produced 8m pounds of shrimp annually, Luverne gave Tru Shrimp a 67-acre lot free of charge, a 5-year tax abatement, and (with the state) $2.6m in infrastructure improvements and $3m in incentives.

But some dreams are just too good to be Tru: When Tru Shrimp’s chloride discharge levels exceeded the state’s limit, it decided to move forward with the South Dakota plant instead.

Luverne’s mayor called the decision a “gut shot.” Tru Shrimp, on the other hand, says it’s not abandoning Luverne, and hopes to work with the city “in the near future.”

» A crustacean situation

On-demand laundry services may be starched, but that’s not stopping Mr. Jeff

When on-demand laundry service Washio closed its lid and sold its assets to non-demand laundry service, Rinse, 2 years ago, some worried the market had run out of warm water.

But yesterday, the Spanish startup, Mr. Jeff, loaded a $12m Series A, led by All Iron Ventures — and it could mean that investors aren’t done with the on-demand laundry spin cycle.

What’s wrong with on-demand?

If you ask Rinse CEO Ajay Prakash, he believes the model lacks economic practicality. Most on-demand services focus on quick turnaround, and speed requires more cars, more bodies, and more money.

According to TechCrunch, Prakash believes it was Washio’s pivot to an on-demand model that soiled the company’s potential.

So what’s Mr. Jeff’s ancient on-demand secret?

Taking its competitors to the cleaners

Mr. Jeff believes it can wash the dirty business of on-demand cleaning by focusing on markets in areas where seeing a laundry machine is like seeing a unicorn.

The 2-year-old company offers on-demand home and dry cleaning services in 7 countries, mainly in Latin America, and the company went into the new year with more than 1k franchises. With the new funding, Mr. Jeff aims to wash clothes in 30 countries by the end of 2019.

» Clean it up, Mr. Jeff!

Shuttle startup Chariot will shut down less than 3 years after its $65m sale to Ford

After Chariot raised $3m in its first 2 years, it was acquired by Ford for a reported $65m in 2016 and added to Ford’s ‘Smart Mobility’ division. 

But, the move wasn’t so smart after all: Chariot just couldn’t keep its momentum up due to low margins and lower demand — and it will begin shutting down operations later this month to cut its losses.

Sometimes you just can’t reinvent the bus

Under Ford, Chariot expanded its ‘private bus lines’ from San Francisco to Austin, Seattle, New York, Columbus, Chicago, Denver, Detroit, LA, and London. 

But Chariot had to subsidized its services to lure people into its vans — and since rides cost as little as $3.80, it had trouble recouping its cash when demand began to slip.

Chariot will leave behind 625 employees, some of whom will be offered new jobs at Ford. As for everyone else? They’re gonna have to take the bus.

» Boom and bus
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