How to Start a Cult (Startup)

Don’t you want devoted followers who will leave their families for you? Give their money to you? Give their bodies to you? Give up their lives for you? Consider you God? And will kill for you?

Don’t you want to become a cult startup leader?

Since the death of God there’s been a vacancy open. You can fill that void. Here’s how:

Structure your cult startup like an onion with the most benign and helpful features on the outside and the most controlling cooky and evil parts at the secret inner core.

Use deception. Don’t tell them who you really are.

Lie. Don’t tell them who you really are. Leave out important information or distort information.

Promise to fulfill their dreams.

Offer them something free and get them obliged to get something in return.

You can tell them time is running out and that they must make their decision now or it’ll be too late.

Don’t give them time to think.

Commence a prolonged period of love bombing.

Surround them with unconditional love and attention. Your cult startup family should act friendly and interested. Gather information about them and hone their weak spots. Surround them with happy, true believers so when in doubt they will do what everyone else is doing and believe that is normal.

Then use this information to manipulate them.

Gradually overtime you’ll begin to shape the recruits’ behavior by granting or withholding this love and attention. After they have bonded with you, slowly start making demands of them. The message being: nothing in this world has value unless it relates to the leader. Or the ultimate purpose.

Control their behavior.

“Come live with us. Wear these clothes. Eat this food. All you need is two hours sleep.”

Prescribe a rigid schedule.

Keep them active and with as little sleep as possible. If you can, restrict their eating habits to low protein food.

Control their thoughts and emotions.

Remove the recruits’ sense of individuality by attacking the self and inducing a mental breakdown disguised as a spiritual awakening.

Induce guilt and fear

Make them paranoid about their own bodies or thought processes.

Control information.

Prevent them from knowing all the workings of the business. Block any information which is critical for the group. Encourage members to spy and report on one another. When they start to freak out, have side effects, or hallucinate, tell them that they are flushing out the bad stuff on the inside.

Tell them that there is a part of their mind they must eliminate in order to find happiness.

Claim authority.

It can come from a divine source, bogus scientific research, or special knowledge. But don’t be stupid about it, start slowly. A good conman takes a little bit of truth and a lot of lies and pulls the wool over the eyes of the ignorant.

Make up stories about yourself to boost your importance.

“She no longer devotes time to novels or friends, doesn’t date, doesn’t own a television, and hasn’t taken a vacation in ten years. Her refrigerator is all but empty, as she eats most of her meals at the office.” Forbes describing Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes.

Induce trance states and self-hypothesis by thought-stopping rituals and repetitive acts like dancing, spinning, singing, over-breathing, and chanting.

Stamp out any doubt.

Revert your followers back to childhood dependence and mindless obedience.

In these trance states they are more receptive and suggestible. Practice prolonged hours of meditation.

Encourage separation from their family.

“Your friends and family probably will not understand. Maybe you should stay away from them, it’s unhealthy to be around unenlightened people, anyway. If you can’t recruit your friends, cut off from them. Stop wasting time with non believers.”

Encourage dependency and conformity.

And discourage autonomy and individuality.

Rewrite the past as terrible even if was great.

“Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life, or do you want to come with me and change the world?” What Steve Jobs said to Pepsi executive John Sculley to lure him to Apple.

Tighten your group’s bond by establishing scapegoats and enemies.

Demonize outsiders as less than human, bias, corrupt, or conspiring against the group. Develop an ‘us vs. them’ mentality. Fight resistance. Tell them their critical thoughts are crimes committed against the group.

Start investigating others and make up crimes.

“I think I want to leave.” “You must be insane. We’re doing important work here. You expect saving the world is easy? We’re all called upon to make some sacrifices for the cause. You’re weak. Do you want to move forward toward freedom? What’s more important, our mission or your petty grievances? Our leader is flawless. There must be something wrong with you.”

Indoctrinate with fear.

Make it easier for them to die for you by calling their bodies ‘containers that are shed before they evolve into higher life forms’.

It’s that simple. Now don’t you want to become a cult startup leader? Don’t you want devoted followers who leave their families for you, give their money to you?