Uber wants to patent a system that knows if you’re wasted or not

Uber has reportedly drawn up an idea that would patent a system to let drivers know when their fare is wasted.

What do you do when you’ve had a few too many Bud heavies at happy hour? You ring your friendly neighborhood Uber, of course.

Uber wants to patent a system that knows if you’re wasted or not

But that means, as a sober person, if you roll the dice on the Pool, it can be downright awful: belligerent yelling, an unwanted hand on the leg, maybe even a dry heave or 2.

Not to worry though, according to a patent application seen by CNN. Uber is working on a plan to detect a user’s drunken behavior before they get into the back seat.

It’s called, UberAA

Kidding.

The system, described by members of Uber’s Trust & Safety team in 2016, tracks how someone normally uses Uber’s app through AI — if they commit typos, their walking speed, and the rate at which they drop their phone.

Essentially it’s a keystroke system that notifies drivers if you’ve been drinking, but also your every move during the walk of shame.

Sounds like a great idea… on paper

But, of course, notifying a driver beforehand could set a few liabilities in motion: Like, as The Verge hypothesizes, motivating a driver to decline picking up Sloshy McSlosherson, which, to the wasted, could be code for, “You’re too drunk, drive home instead.”

Of course, this product is in its early stages — or should we call it the pre-game?

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