This week’s weirdest ways to spend money

Let’s face it — we’re all spending money in weird ways this time of year (why does Uncle Mike collect porcelain ducks, anyway?). 

But as Warren Buffett once said, “A dime isn’t always a dime. Not every time.” (He didn’t actually say that.)

Here are some winners from this week:

• Chainmail sharkproof suit, $7.5k. Are you an avid shark enthusiast who’s sick and tired of losing massive amounts of blood when you spend time with your favorite sea creatures? Well have we got news for you… This chainmail sharkproof suit — whose integrated gloves feature trap doors for those precious moments where you might want to take a shark selfie — lets you keep your shark time and all your appendages, too!
• Neeo smart, touch-screen remote, $600. Are you sick and tired of teaching your parents how to use their Apple TV remote? (Or, just as likely, asking your parents to teach you how to use their 16 separate remotes?) Spare yourselves the trouble with a smart remote that lets anyone play God of the airwaves.
• Long furby, $300. Are you still traumatized by the Furby you got from your aunt Susan when you were 12? Well, here’s your chance to pay it forward… by giving someone else an even more terrifying version of Furby with grotesquely elongated limbs. It’s just as useless, but twice as likely to induce nightmares.