Let's keep this going
sign up today to receive our daily news briefs featuring a handful of the most important stories in business, tech, and life
EMAILED ON February 5, 2018 BY Lindsey Quinn

Chips for chicks: Pepsi CEO plans to launch “snacks for women”

Have you ever wanted a chip so badly, but were too scandalized by their loud crunching to eat them in public? Well, then you know how it feels to be a woman — at least, according to the maker of Doritos, PepsiCo.

In a recent interview, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi said there are fundamental differences between the way men and women consume chips. So, they’re rolling out a new line of products to appeal to female consumers.

“FINALLY A CHIP FOR ME” — No woman ever

While market research shows that young men “lick their [Dorito] fingers with glee” and dump the crumbs into their mouths, women, Nooyi speculates, “would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers.”

Their new female product line will be low-crunch, full-taste, without the flavor finger-stick, and, according to Nooyi, it will finally answer the question, “can you put it in a purse?”

Noooooooo

Please, no. Aside from the PR sh*tstorm they’re likely to face (at least if the “BIC for her,” fiasco is any indication), we take issue with the idea that anyone — male or female — loves getting flavor dust under their fingernails, or getting a bag half-filled with tiny broken chip pieces.

So hot take here: maybe it’s time for Pepsi to improve its core product and start making better chips for people, not just purses.

Get news (like this) delivered by email every morning