The Rolling Stones are so old, their latest tour’s being sponsored by a retirement fund

The Rolling Stones have partnered with a sole sponsor for their upcoming tour, and it has to do with retirement annuities.

July 2, 2019

While clearly cleverly executed, this is not a joke. The Stones are celebrating their 1 millionth year as a band together by going on tour, and they’re running with the perfect sole sponsor to promote it: the Alliance of Lifetime Income. 

That’s right, The New York Times reports that the wild child of rock in the 1960s and ’70s is going on a North American tour with a trade association that sells retirement annuities.

Time is not on their side

Not the kind of partnership you’d expect from the bluesy bad boys of Britain, but the Stones — all of whom are over 70 — aren’t exactly painting it black these days.

The “Lifetime Income Tour” was already postponed once due to Mick Jagger’s heart surgery for Pete’s sake.

At this point, with the future of Social Security uncertain in the US, a tour with an investment fund that provides an income stream to the retiring rockers of the world could be more on brand with their demographic than “Exile on Main Street.”

Define ‘Wild Horses’

Some critics are against a private company like the Alliance of Lifetime Income swooping in to supplement a cheaper government fund. But you can’t always get what you want.

Though, according to the Alliance’s website — “You can get what you need, when you have an annuity.”

In a weird way, the Stones may have just come full circle with their rebellious days of selling cigarettes, alcohol, and sports cars.

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