Settle in, kids, and let’s talk about outrage.
Pfffffft
Burger King brought the funk when it announced it would start feeding its beef herds lemongrass, which BK says will cut cow farts by 30%.
Methane emissions from leaky pipelines and, yes, bovine flatus jumped 9% in the last decade, which could warm the planet ~37 degrees Fahrenheit by the end of the century.
The announcement ripped across Twitter, which got us to wondering: Would the move prove winner or Whopper?
We checked with a cattle rancher to see if the idea had any gas.
She pointed out that the carbon footprint of shipping lemongrass — a tropical plant — might counterbalance any benefit from fending off farts.
We have never been so entranced by an animal’s gas emissions.
Blame… Tom Brady?
The Paper Store, a Massachusetts-based gift shop chain, filed for bankruptcy.
COVID is the main culprit for the company’s financial shortcomings, but company leadership also blames the New England Patriots for fumbling in the NFL playoffs, which sacked its sports-themed sales.
As Dave Benoit of The Wall Street Journal put it: “Team makes 3 straight Super Bowls and then loses a wild card and your business falls apart?”
Talk about fair-weather fans.
