They say beauty is pain. And in the case of Rejuvenique, that meant electrocuting your face while looking like you were about to participate in The Purge.
In a 1999 infomercial featuring “Dynasty” star Linda Evans, Rejuvenique creator George E. Springer promises that the odd white mask — priced at $180, or ~$338 today — can do for the face what exercise does for the body, toning the muscles for a more youthful appearance.
However…
… the product was never FDA-approved, with a spokesperson saying there was “no assurance” that the device was effective or safe. Plus:
- The Tampa Bay Times found no proof that Springer was a licensed medical professional in Florida, where he lived at the time, despite often being quoted as a doctor.
- Experts pointed out that stimulating your facial muscles would lead to more lines and wrinkles.
- Some reviewers found it painful, akin to being bitten by a horde of ants.
By 2001, the product had disappeared from the airwaves, though you can find it on eBay — and Linda Evans was apparently still using it as recently as 2019.
You can also find…
… a new host of light therapy masks for sale that have all the same creepy vibes, plus a spooky red light for ambiance.
Do they work? While red light therapy may improve some skin conditions, most at-home devices aren’t powerful enough to produce significant results.
If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that people will try anything to remain young and beautiful — even if it makes them look like the killer in a giallo film.