March 4, 2016

Excuse Me, Why Are We Not Included in Any of The “Coolest Offices in SF” Lists?

Clearly, every publication in this godforsaken town is confused about what the word "cool" means.

This is bullshit.

I just finished looking through way too many lists online (BuzzFeed, what have you done?) ranking the “coolest” offices in San Francisco.

We weren’t included in any of them… which is weird because our apartment office is the definition of cool.

Now, I don’t expect you to believe me. People lie on the internet all the time.

So, I decided to prove it to you.

First, I went and found the coolest pictures of the (supposedly) coolest offices in the entire United States. I was feeling confident, so keeping it San Francisco-only didn’t feel like a big enough challenge.

Then, I took some pictures of our office to compare our cool stuff to theirs.

And finally, I wrote the article you’re about to read. Enjoy.

TOMS has a blue slide (and a lame sign).

Toms - Slide

Well, we have a blue jean jacket (and an epic sign).

IMG_6851

Quicken Loans turned a bank vault into a meeting room.

Quicken Loans - Vault

We turned a random assortment of boxes into a computer stand.

IMG_2612

Facebook has 11 on-campus restaurants (nine of which are free for employees), featuring everything from burritos to southern BBQ.

facebook - restaurants

We have a refrigerator featuring everything from a half-used bottle of soy sauce to a jar of olives.

IMG_2617

Zappos has a ball pit.

Zappos - ball pit

We’re in the office where Zappos (yeah, literally) started.

Screen Shot 2016-03-02 at 11.06.45 PM

Each room in Airbnb’s office is decorated to resemble a real Airbnb listing.

airbnb - rooms

Our living room resembles my apartment from sophomore year of college.

IMG_2618

Yelp has an iPad-controlled kegerator.

1200x-1

We have a human-controlled sink.

IMG_2622

Red Frog Events has an outdoor-themed meeting room.

Red Frog Events - outdoor

We have a “this is also a storage closet”-themed meeting room.

IMG_2629

Red Bull has a massive skate ramp.

overview_no_people

We have a pull-up bar.

IMG_2626

Lyft has a secret library behind a painting of Willy Wonka.

Lyft- Wonka

We keep our books out in the open. (Why are you hiding your books, Lyft?)

IMG_2627

Square has robots that allow remote workers to “sit in” on meetings.

Square -robots

We have a dog that makes everyone want to come into the office, and “sits” on command (sometimes).

IMG_2634

Here’s the link to sign a petition ensuring we’re included in the next “coolest San Francisco offices” list.

Just kidding, that takes you to a funny Youtube video.

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